"I think i made it a game to play your game and let myself cry. i "
that is a quote from the song buried myself alive and i understand how Bert McCracken felt when he wrote this. i let myself feel again, i had deadened myself from the world , hid what was true and then when i dead with it, let myself feel happiness.....the person i put at one of my highest points push me from the top and watches me splatter on the concrete. i died again this time, not from heart break, not slowly like as if in my sleep, i died quickly as if i have a needle in my arm that is slowly secreting venom into my body so i am screaming in pain and in a matter of minutes, but to me if felt like forever.
I have died, not like i wanted. And somehow with me in the grave you are still torturing me. Sending demons ans monsters from my nightmares to destroy my happy memories, taking what is left of me.
When i see you down the hall i get a a pain in my chest, a twisted one. I have know idea why....
Death is suppose to be peaceful my is never ending pain. Have fun living, have fun in the sun. But know one day i will return to live again so remember..."This time i'm not gonna watch myself die!"